Cadillac Desert & that guy Mulholland

"What they were really building was the worlds largest garden hose." Marc Reisner (author of Cadillac Desert and in reference to the building of the first aqueduct to LA)


In light of all this rain gracing Southern California, I have been thinking a lot about water works. People down south really do not realize what a challenging task it is to supply so many individuals with such a necessary commodity and how it all began. The truth is...no matter how loyal you are to reppin' socal...we couldn't do it without the north. Without are hella cool neighbors we wouldn't have any water. So don't complain when it does rain down here because let's take all we can get! It doesn't happen often. First, take a look at our current watershed, which allows contemporary LA to exist:

We have FOUR aqueducts supplying us with water! It all began with a tycoon named William Mulholland who took a trip to the Sierra Nevadas and saw gold in Owen's River (this is the longest blue line on this map extending from LA inland to Mono Lake, just on the border of Northern California). Nowadays, for a large city like LA to acquire something as bountiful as a whole river is hard to imagine, but Mulholland had the support of a president, the people, and stole the land from the farmers. Having permission Mulholland began construction. When the aqueduct was opened in 1913 Mulholland changed southern California's water supply forever when the flood gates opened and he declared "There it is, take it." This aqueduct still functions today in supplying greater LA with water.  

Reisner's book has been adapted into a short series. Here are the 9 parts of the first video and they are well worth watching (although a bit old--1997). They give a great history of LA and a whole new meaning to water. The next time you take a cruise down Mulholland Drive that weaves through LA, I am sure you will think of it differently than just an odd setting in a Lynch film, but rather a symbol of industrialization.  

 

  

Step Into Liquid.... Don't be Scared.

I love the outdoors, but I also have an appreciation for the media we have available to us in this modern society. If you are scared to get out into the ocean (which I understand--it is powerful and mysterious) then at least push yourself in other directions and using other media (film, books, aquariums, the internet, music, ect.) to explore and try to understand it. 

The ocean covers 3/4 of the world. Even if you hate it and/or don't understand it (...to some extent I don't really either) if you want to be respected and well-rounded you should have a basic understanding of this massive body of water. As we have seen recently with the underwater earthquake off the coast of Japan that caused a tsunami, it is important to understand water movement and how the ocean responds to environmental stress. 

I have to take history, political science, human sexuality courses and so forth....well, marine biology courses should be obligatory. Everybody should be exposed to the diversity of animals and if anything gain an understanding about fisheries (after all, you probably eat things from the ocean...do you just put anything into your mouth without thinking about where it's from and how it got there)? 


For example, we all have a basic understanding of our history and where we come from. We know about the Civil War, the Cold War, and WWII. Well, wouldn't it be beneficial for the general public to learn about the bountiful resources in the ocean and how we consume them, it's capacity to provide energy, and implications resulting from human impacts? We always seem to be thinking about where we come from and never where we are going. Even if you have no respect for the ocean you should at least be concerned about the status of the resources in it for future generations. 

Living day by day is bullshit. Don't be lazy. Planning is where it is at. 

“The vast possibilities of our great future will become realities only if we make ourselves responsible for that future.” 

Gifford Pinchot 

So let's start easy. If anything people tend to love surfing. This film evokes an array of emotions and any viewer will feel some sense of unity with the blue sea. The film is 

and it is epic and inspiring (Director Dana Brown). This is not your traditional surfing movie. It chronicles the culture of nearly every single surfing form in regions across the globe. It features surfers like Rob Machado, Robert August, the Malloy brothers, Gerry Lopez, and many many more! It demonstrates the strong cultural implications that result from this pastime...like how it can unite children from Protestant and Catholic backgrounds in the divided regions of Northern Ireland. 

I hope I can at least start getting people to be stoked on the sea. That's where we need to begin....

The Life Aquatic & PSyCHOdELiK diving

I have been looking for a wetsuit for a long time.

Well, either that or it is just ridiculously expensive and not feasible...

(not to mention I need to purchase both a 5 and 7mm and I can't get myself to pick one). 

Needless to say, The Life Aquatic (Director Wes Anderson) is one of my favorite movies of all time and they really know what they are doing when it comes to diving...& everything else for that matter. They have a jacuzzi on their boat, the Belafonte, and Steve Zissou (Bill Murray) knows how to live a little. Plus Anderson knows exactly what to do with colors and how to be funny without trying too hard. 

If you have not seen this film then DO IT--especially if you fancy Bill Murray, Portuguese David Bowie covers, Cousteau or the diversity of the wonderful cast: 

Watch Bill Murray talk about the father of marine biology & dance to the ocean clad in the sickest scuba gear you will ever see:

I idealize them! They wear the prototype of the wetsuit I would want and are also deserving of mad props for invention of that ingenous music making helmet! Is anyone else excited about this? I might pick purple just to be ridiculous. After seeing this movie I have always sought after similar wetsuits. 

So I began searching for the perfect wetsuit that would resemble and make me feel like a member of Team Zissou. I had interesting results.

I am definitely not a Trekky and yes, these really do/or did exist (for between 435-470 big ones): 

These were/are made by Roddenberry, but for some reason this appears to be the only place where you can find them anymore. Someones blog, go figure. I guess try ebay. 

For the adventurous risk-takers:

A shark bite wetsuit. I find this pretty hilarious. It would be even funnier if someone wearing this died battling a shark. That is how you have to go out if you wear something as ridiculous as that. THAT wetsuit or these:

So creative, but ridiculously extreme and I am sure expensive as well. They are designs ...by Diddo who has an interesting take on individuality in the marine environment. He has designed blinged out gas masks and Benedictine monk inspired champagne extinguishers. He is a member of "the invisible party" in Amsterdam (whatever that means). Long story short. I have no idea if you can actually buy these, unless I just have to send him a secret message and promise him lots of money.

If I were a guy I might actually consider this one, especially if a dirty martini with blue cheese stuffed olives was included: 

 

Apparently, Wetwear can design the tuxedo wetsuit...or anything in your wildest dreams. Seems doubtful. That site just looks shady...

If I were a douche/bro I might be able to rock one of these: 

I guess the fish one really is not that bad, but the other two guys I would never want to meet in the water or on land. An Italian company called Diansub makes these and their site is pretty legit! It is very customized. You fill out this TAYLOR MADE order form and I guess they send you a suggested price. This company is in Italy and custom made=no way can I afford this. 

Diddo and Diansub seem like really awesome European companies. Stand up USA! Those Europeans are always so artsy...

DOCH! Deutsch a(u)nd Marine Biology do mix!

Meet Undine: 

& the author of "Undine geht" (translated literally as "Undine goes") Ingeborg Bachmann:

It seems like all the German literature I have been reading lately has something to do with the sea and this short story is one of my new favorites. It is about a "woman" named Undine who lives under water and has a strong thing or two she would like to say to all the males of the world out there. Ihr Ungeheuer! (You monsters!)

YES! This short story is a post-WWII revelation. Not only was all art and literature a taboo and difficult subject after the Nazi period (it was pretty much forbidden or heavily monitored), but it was unheard of to have a woman speak up openly about gender roles and Bachmann does just that. 

It is a beautiful story that confronts the dichotic divide between the sexes. Undine represents all that is nature, beauty, and woman. While men are represented through generic Hans, who is incredibly normal and hardworking like a man "should be." However, Hans also represents the man that is the exception because ultimately Undine falls in love with him. He is different than all the others (in a limited way). This is the first version of men are from Mars and women are from Venus...women have "feelings" and men belong to a world outside of this that is dedicated to work and industry.   

Here are two great quotes that I have translated (unfortunately I cannot find an English version of the text online!)

Undine to men...

Deutsch: "Verstehst du es wohl? Deine Einsamkeit werde ich nie teilen, weil da die meine ist, von länger her, noch lange hin. Ich bin nicht gemacht, um eure Sorgen zu teilen. Diese Sorgen nicht!"

English: Do you understand? I will not share your isolation because it is mine from longer ago. I am not made to share your worries. Your worries not!

Undine to Hans....

Deutsch: "Keine Lichtung wird sein. Du anders als die anderen. Ich bin unter Wasser. Bin unter Wasser. Und nun geht einer oben und haßt Wasser und haßt Grün und versteht nicht, wird nie verstehen. Wie ich nie verstehenden habe."

English: There will be no path. You whom is different than the others. I am under water. Am under water. And now one goes above and hates water and hates green and doesn't understand, will never understand. How I have never understood.     

Surprisingly, a film adaptation was done in 2010 with Colin Farrell. I have not seen it, but I am skeptical. 

Anemones were fighting before the Great War!

Species: Anthopleura elegantissima

Geographic Range: Pacific Coast of North America

Habitat: Rocky shores along the coast

Yes, that guy! In general, these anemones are colonial animals and were probably one of the first species to ever form a battlefront (more on that in a minute). They have an extremely long evolutionary history and for such simple creatures they live rather complicated and harsh lives in the rocky intertidal.  

These guys can reproduce asexually and form colonies of genetically identical individuals--or clones. The most impressive thing about this is that the anemones have the ability to distinguish between individuals that are genetically identical to them and those who aren't. They live in environments where there is a constant struggle for space so they are extremely territorial and genetically identical groups isolate themselves from the others (sounds a little "ethnocentric" doesn't it, ha). It is pretty much the idea of western expansion post Civil War and everyone competing for land that they believe is theirs. The only difference is we look like this when we fight wars:    

Anemones have their own ammunition and it's called acrorhagi. All anemones have stingers or nematocysts embedded in their tentacles that they fire upon mechanical or chemical stimulation. This stinging power is not strong enough to hurt us or a lot of other vertebrates, but when it comes to smaller guys they are pretty much done for. Acrorhagi are a special form of these stinging cells, but they are used to fight battles and they fight battles the exact same way humans did during the Great War when they formed stalemates. Here's how the inverts do it:

1. Set up a group of warriors along a boundary. These are the ones the colony is willing to sacrifice. 

  

2. Put the more important individuals behind these guys and form a social organization. In the case of these anemones, the more fit reproductive individuals are in the back so that genes can be passed on if all warriors are lost.

3. Send forward a scout (very slowly because these guys are slow moving) to scope things out. When this individual is attacked and returns to his front he is attacked by his own colony. The scout serves as a means for the colony to make sure that the threat they perceive is really there.

4. Engage in war! When the warriors encounter the other colony they use their acrorhagi (the big white tentacles underneath) to defend themselves by extending these organs and placing them on the other individual. When they do this the epidermis peels off and continues to release "fire" or stinging cells onto the other individual. This is extremely detrimental to the attacked individual and results in tissue necrosis.

Battle Video: 

 

Penis Fencing!

What would you do if you wanted to sleep with someone? As humans, we have a wide array of methods that we could use to "seal the deal," but we ARE different than all other animals. We have the ability to understand our existence and this advancement in cognitive capacity can make for some pretty interesting sexual situations. After all we can speak, which really sets the stage for some awkward and hilarious scenarios. Speaking from the female perspective, the ability of the opposite sex to communicate provides us with the opportunity to receive novel pick-up lines. Here are some examples from my personal experience: "Damn, I ain't never seen a white girl with an ass that fat" "Girl, if I were a sniper I would take you down" and my personal favorite "You look so good girl, you must be a black girl trapped in a white girls body." I wonder how many times it has worked because it seems like we should be more evolved in this day and age. Since we both understand that we exist you should probably ask me my name first. Let's start there... 


but let's talk about the primitive acoelomates of the Phylum Platyhelminthes...FLATWORMS.      


If you think humans are weird when courting you have got it all wrong. Sure...our mating behavior can be rather strange and embarrassing, but sexual reproduction in certain species of flatworms can be straight-up PAINFUL. So here it goes...


Flatworms are hermaphrodites and their penises can be ridiculously sharp and they tend on hurting someone with it. They line up like two cowboys at high noon and eject their razor sharp penises ready to fight each other. They fight each other until one succeeds  in penetrating the other, thus releasing their sperm. Talk about a battle. Can you imagine two human males fighting each other with their penises? I guess it isn't that far fetched...


All is fair in love and war! Here is a video...enjoy :) 

  

solid.

Being out of your element is a very vulnerable and exhilarating experience at the same time. Humans are just like any other animal that have to learn how to adapt to not only different situations, but also to different climates. My match is the snow. It is very interesting to think that snow is the exact same molecule as liquid water…a medium that I feel comfortable in. I am not scared of water, but initial encounters in the snow can be quite terrifying for a fishy out of water. Snow is something that has been very foreign to me in my life and even after living a year in Germany it is hard to put mittens and coats on. I am learning how to adapt and I am learning how to snowboard. Snow hurts. Badly. 10x more than water. But, when confronted with a challenge, all I can do is respond the way any other animal would. I try to survive and I try to win. I become a player on a foreign battlefield and try to make the snow my home.